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Parents and Children Separated by Family Conflict
When family conflict leads to separation or divorce, parents face the challenge of working with former partners to share ongoing parental responsibility. Frequently, the anger and distress that partners may feel towards each other during and after the process prevents parents from realising that their children need the affection and support of both parents. When a family separates across borders, both parents need to be particularly committed to fostering the link between the separated parent and child because the distance adds an additional challenge to this vital relationship. In many cases, the loss of contact between a parent and a child after cross border movement may be the product of international parental child abduction, wrongful retention, or a planned migration followed by the obstruction of contact.
It is important to note that child protection concerns can arise during these separations. Unfortunately, the high conflict nature of the dispute often leads to genuine concerns being dismissed as well as serious allegations being fabricated.
Legal mechanisms exist within the UK, the EU, and on the global level to address international family law matters. However, legal proceedings quickly can become lengthy, prohibitively costly and adversarial. When family members are in different countries, courts have the additional responsibility to ensure they are in the appropriate position to make an informed decision regarding the children. Furthermore, there are numerous instances where the implementation of a legal mechanism or the enforcement of a decision may not be effective in practice. Thus, many situations remain painfully unresolved. The process can be traumatic for all those involved and infringes on the child’s right to have contact with both parents.
The Role of CFAB
We provide intercountry social work expertise operating from a child-centred approach and in accordance with relevant domestic and private international law. When legal proceedings are underway, courts may request CFAB’s assistance to link with the appropriate authorities and agencies in the UK and abroad to gather relevant information about a family member’s circumstances and coordinate future support for the family. Due to our extensive experience with cross border cases, CFAB can highlight critical issues regarding the practical aspects of enforcing decisions and supporting contact in foreign countries. We work in collaboration with the leading UK governmental and nongovernmental organisations focused on international parental child abduction and contact.
Many referrals in this category come from individuals who have lost contact with their children and struggle with distressing and entrenched situations. Each person is offered the direct support of an CFAB social worker and frequently, this can be the most valuable help. When possible, CFAB will endeavour to reestablish and foster contact. See The Family Reunion Project for an unique example of these efforts. When child protection concerns are raised, CFAB is well positioned to address these through its international network and consider the particular challenges of these issues in high conflict family law cases.
CFAB is unable to offer legal advice or representation.
Joe & Anne
When Joe and Anne’s marriage ended in South Africa, Joe did not want to leave his children but needed to return to the UK. He did not realise how complicated it would be to work out the divorce and residence orders from afar. The South African family court was in a challenging position because it was important for them to know what Joe’s intentions were for his three boys, what Joe’s life in the UK was like, and what resources he had available to him to help him care properly for the children, and how supportive he would be of the boys’ relationship with their mother.
CFAB was able to arrange for a social worker to visit Joe and learn about his current circumstances as well as his hopes and concerns about his future relationship with the children. As part of the process, CFAB spoke with some of Joe’s friends and family who could talk about how they planned to support Joe and the boys on visits. The report demonstrated that while Joe would love to have the children live with him, he was willing to have the boys reside with their mother as long as he could visit them in South Africa and they could visit him in Wales and get to know their significant extended family which included an older brother and a number of cousins and grandparents. The report enabled the South African family court to make the very important decision that the boys should have contact with Joe in South Africa but also to come to the UK and visit their dad when it worked with their school schedules.
Sarah & Jeff
Sarah and Jeff went to the US to spend their summer holidays with their father. They were due to return in September but their father kept them there. Frequently, when parents make a decision like this, they may not be aware that it can be against the law. The children’s mother panicked when she realised that they were not coming back and contacted the British central authority, the International Child Abduction and Contact Unit (ICACU) at the Official Solicitor’s Office. The ICACU and the abduction specialists Reunite would guide mother through the step by step process of pursuing the children’s return under the Hague Abduction Convention.
In the meantime, mother was extremely concerned. The father would not let her speak with the children. Her children would call her in secret when no one was home and were hysterical on the phone, telling her that they were being left alone for long hours, the father was misusing drugs and they were not getting enough food to eat.
The International Child Abduction and Contact Unit encouraged mother to contact CFAB and see whether we could assist with a welfare check. CFAB was able to work with its American branch and arrange for a social worker to investigate the child protection concerns. The American branch agreed to explain to the father how keeping the children like this could be very traumatic for them and to encourage the father to let the children have contact with their mother on the phone and through email until these other legal issues were resolved. The father quickly realised that he had made a mistake and agreed to return the children voluntarily to the UK.
Useful Links
International Child Abduction and Contact Unit